HALL. MONITORS.
I'm not talking about the friendly people you meet the first day of school.
No, Those People ARE NOT REAL.
You add 5 more school days and suddenly the inner demon crawls out from their soul and takes over. I can hear them down the hall, during class, during lunch, while I'm driving to lunch from school.. I swear I still hear their screeching from half a mile away.
They are worse than your mother, worse than a counselor wondering when you are finishing your online classes, worse than that one kid who waits to answer every one's questions to the teacher in your class, and yes... even worse than Carrie Underwood at acting.
When they seem nice, they aren't. Anything you say to them as your "confidant" or "amigo" will be used against you. They only act nice to get information out of you. They are the very vilest of sinners.
So instead of just venting out my soul I'm going to tell you guys a little bed time story
ONCE UPON A TIME. ..
In the Halls of Mountain View High School there was girl. We will call her Nikki S., No.. N. Schmidt. Anyway N. was heading to her second period class and was a little late. She had been talking to her first period teacher about some grade stuff and maybe a guy in his second period was really attractive and she wanted to talk to him... hypothetically of course. Anyway, on a rather happy state of mind, she started walking briskly to second period. She was almost to her class when she was stopped suddenly.
There stood the hall (optional inserts here: demon dragon devil) monitor.She asked, "Where is your class?"
"Oh, it's right over there!"
"The bell already rang, why aren't you there?"
"Sorry I was talking to my first period teacher"
"You had five minutes you could have made it."
What do I say at this point? These came to my head:
or
so I went with the obvious choice! The best comeback ever.
"It won't happen again I'm sorry."
Okay it was the worst. I succumbed to her evil ways. I let her win the battle.
and when I say "I did this and that" I mean "I" as in "N."
So N. Fought back the next day.
As she was walking to her fourth period class the next day she heard a hall (death eater, villain, party killer) monitor yell at some girls about how she could run faster than them. The monitor said
"It's sad that honestly I walk so much faster than you. Cause I actually hurried to classes when I was in college"
And under her breath N. said
"You must've done good at college cause now you're a hall monitor, congratulations"
And I ran. I ran for my life.
THE END.
So it was kind of anti-climatic. But the point here is.
Walk faster than hall monitors before they eat your soul and spit it out... and eat it again.
Oh, and find out which corners they are hovering at and AVOID THEM.
And never ever ever, under any circumstances
TRUST THEM.
